Chang's hands were covered in sweat as he fumbled with his overly complicated state-of-the-art cellular phone. It's 400 yen per message but he can't stop talking to the smoking hot mystery woman who has been sending him private messages all afternoon. "Show me your ladything," he managed to finally type. "I bet it's gorgeous like a newborn panda."
"And twice as bloody," she replied. My three inch hard-on is never going away now. This anonymous penis-rouser was the Haagenti to my boner's thirty-three legions of hell demons for sure! So much so that I pondered whether or not to offer her the rest of the white newborn baby leftover from dinner last night. But I quickly checked my bank account balance and realized I couldn't spare the food until I got my paycheck on Friday. My hot new sex life is going to put in the poor house! OH WELL!
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