IMPORTANT INTERNET QUESTION!

HEY I NEED YOUR HELP! SERIOUSLY! IS THERE A DATABASE FOR RAPE ACCUSATIONS/RUMORS FOR THE NEW ENGLAND AREA?!?!?!? I NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS A RUMOR ABOUT ME! THIS IS NOT A GAME! HELP ME! I AM A GOOD PERSON! I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!@!

Sex Change Lamentation

I miss my cock! It ruled for sticking in girls. No longer do I want to hack the photobuckets of strange women. No longer do I crave just a peek at the bare breasts kept locked inside digital armoires. The Sex and the City movie wasn't even that good! Basically just a really long, OK episode of the show! I chopped down one of the mightiest redwoods in the history of flesh to better enjoy that? And now I won't understand the Hulk movie. And what if my car breaks down?!??!?! Fuck, I'm gonna have to blow some guy so he'll fix it now. I mean, that's what all women do, right? I must've sucked 354 cocks in the last month ALONE. I mean, it's cool not paying for stuff but all the cocksucking. How do "real" women keep up with all dicks?!?!?!? I don't want 354 cocks anymore. I just want one! My old one! Or a black one.

This needs to exist

HEAD VOID

How do you get INSPIRED?! Oooh, the city air fills up my lungs as I run down Broadway screaming "HEY BIG APPLE, I'M HEEEERE!" My entire life is like the opening to Perfect Strangers. I'm constantly going to a Cubs game and stuffing my brain with hopes and dreams and flight attendant wives. Maybe you walk a mile in my shoes but can you walk a SMILE????? Oh I hope you can! New York: CONQUERED. What's next? L.A.? Philadelphia?! Oooh, maybe the singer of Clockcleaner can kick me in the nuts and let me know what a faggot I am! That would BLOW MY MIND. Wake me up out of this diabetic diatribe with drugs and music that takes a chance! As for me, I still drink soda.

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